Re: [Sibling has] enough to retire but [believes] "my career is my identity"

lgb wrote: Mon Oct 20, 2025 12:43 am

[Moved topic to Personal Finance (Not Investing) – mod moshe]

[Title edited for clarity (relative’s situation). Moderator Pops1860]

Family situation – Have a sibling that has enough to retire but their career is their identity (in my humble opinion), so all the financial advisors say, you and your spouse (already retired) can retire for sure. Both have a pension from their employer and good investments and now some annuities they signed up for recently to handle Long Term Car considerations (LTC). But the remaining non-retired spouse is clearly struggling with retiring at age 56. Feels they will now die immediately, have nothing to do, twiddling thumbs. Likes the work they do, and feels like they are strategic ‘big picture’ many years into their future to what the company does that they helped foster/develop over their entire career, basically their whole life. Has some contract opportunities to do the same/similar work minus the big picture stuff and back to i’ll call it the grunt/menial work you can lose your edge at ‘brainwise’, after retiring from current employer and employer is very helpful in the retirement planning for them, (rare) but its a big company. Much more flexible options with that probably exist with considering working as like a contractor for another company, probably still great pay.

I would just like to understand from those that have dealt with the same, how they ‘transitioned’ if you will. I myself could easily hang it up and never think about it much more again and go on to new adventures. Having no similar options to go easily do some contract work with flex schedule/similar pay. I see my sibling struggling ‘heavily’, I mean ‘heavily’ with the idea of retiring and not doing what they are known for doing at work, and it is comical in one sense for me as I view it as simply as they will be replaced and the company ‘handles it’ somehow or struggles (hopes they will stay on and empower a younger) or fails or hires someone better that now they excel and expose all their prior faults, but understandable I guess if that is all they know and that work life is their ‘identity’. I see the same with business owners with gagillions in the bank and they never really ‘retired’ still hacking away at their business at age 70, just continuing to create reasons to still work at company xyz, they can’t break away from it. With other similar same aged 70 year olds hadn’t worked in 20 years and are as happy as can be. Or similarly a business owner that is in the hole big time and just can’t let the business go because it is their pride and joy they’ve worked on for so many years and struggle to end it.

Then I think of all the people that don’t have that scenario in their lives, maybe they worked for a place or numerous places and saved up and feel, I can escape this ‘dang rat race’ and they just ‘end it’ and stop accumulating and move on. Are as happy as can be once they do, or maybe they had no choice.

I’d also like the perspective for what is going on in their mind. The ones struggling to so called ‘retire’. As I don’t have the same thoughts myself, its entirely un-relatable the discussions of ‘what will I do’, ‘i’m probably gonna die now’, . I’ve worked for an employer for a long time, I have owned a business and let it go, I’ve worked again for a new employer and feel wonderful. I could do part time work or full time or I guess retire with not much impact and haven’t ‘retired’ myself yet. Just interesting to see others cross the chasm.

Look forward to the discussion/opinions/thoughts from others on here.

Didn’t read the OP and rather read the title. Isn’t it sibling’s business, and his/her alone?

If you want to hang up the spurs, hang them up. Do you want to hang up the spurs?